So it’s been almost 4 weeks since WEjr was born and now I’m sitting down to blog about it. He’s sleeping in the jogging stroller right now so I have a few minutes (hopefully!) before he wakes up.
Since WE already documented our labor and delivery story on his blog, I won’t retell everything – but I did want to share some of the delightful details from my perspective, of course.
Things that I was surprised by:
1. That ‘mothering instinct’ people talk about seriously kicks in and I’m telling you…it seems to come out of nowhere. I’m not just talking about the art of breastfeeding because even after 4 weeks, sometimes it’s still a little strange to think about someone sucking on my melons (ha! excuse my crassness…but I couldn’t resist!). But I’m talking about the once foreign feelings of ‘mommy-dom’ that have taken over my life. Every little thing I do now matters to him. Things I never used to worry about, I now think about. (Ask Baba…we actually called the Chili’s down the road ahead of time – that we’ve been to a million times – just to see if they were a non-smoking location and then drove an extra distance to go to the one that was) Or then there’s the time I sent WEjr with WE during third hour of church because I knew that none of the men would ask to hold him and I was too embarrassed to actually tell people to keep their grubby hands off of him. But it’s not even just about being paranoid about germs. I think that there is an instinctive part of me that realizes that somehow I was meant for this moment – that I was born to be a mom and that everything in my life has lead up to this moment when I’d look at his tiny face and see what a miracle we had created.
2. Epidural was incredible! Okay, so I knew that it was for the pain. I don’t remember, though, the lady in the birthing class saying anything about how quickly and how completely it would work. I was surprised how fast I went from ‘he-he-hoos’ to ‘what now?!’ Although my body was literally and visibly shaking (the nurse said it was from the pain of the contractions/labor, but I’d say it was probably partially from fear too) when I was sitting there holding that pillow on the edge of the bed waiting for the anesthesiologist to stick me – within a matter of minutes – I was completely relaxed, body had stopped shaking, and feeling no pain. It was super fast acting. For the next few hours, I remember laying there (awake in the dark) trying to brace myself for what I thought would be a somewhat painful delivery. In my mind, I thought that once I got to a 10 and started pushing that the epidural would have done all that it could and that I’d have to feel the pain of the last little bit. So it was certainly a pleasant surprise when I got to the end (and I mean the very end -when I was getting stitched up and…and I realized that I hadn’t felt ANYTHING down there). And I was perfectly happy with that
3. How much my baby looks like WE. We couldn’t believe how much WEjr looks like WE!! During the 3-4 hours of epidural bliss before I got to a 10, I had some time to just lay there and think. WE was trying to sleep and I was trying too. But alas, there was no sleep for me. Anyway, I remember thinking about what we were going to name our kid. (We still hadn’t picked a name). During that time, I went through our ‘short list’ and I became pretty set on the only first name of 4 that was on our list that didn’t have ‘samuel’ for the middle name. But as soon as we saw WEjr we realized that he REALLY was WE’s junior. The resemblance was spot on and no doubt about it – this was WE’s kid. So last minute we did some re-arranging and that first name I was set on got paired with ‘samuel’ as the middle because we just couldn’t not name him after his daddy when he looked so much like him.
Things I expected all along:
1. Breastfeeding is not easy. I knew it wouldn’t be and it wasn’t. I was soooo grateful for Joni – the lactation consultant. After the 2nd night in the hospital and about 12 hours of frustration, pain, and worry (WEjr hadn’t peed or poo-ed for longer than I would have liked) – Joni came in and spent at least an hour with us. Looking back, I’m not really convinced that she really changed much about what we had been doing. Yeah, she helped me help WEjr latch on again without the shield. But what WE and I really needed at that point was really just a pep talk. Not just any ol’ pep talk – but the kind that your grandma would give you. She was calm, reassuring, informative, told funny stories and we felt SO MUCH BETTER about going home that day. Once we got home and my milk came in – we put to use everything she told us about what to expect. Luckily the engorgement period wasn’t too long/bad. And that bag of frozen peas in the freezer became my new best friend!
2. WE was super supportive and great to have with me throughout the entire process. He slept on that horribly uncomfortable chair (picture his long legs hanging three feet off the edge) in the hospital on Monday night even though I wasn’t in labor, wasn’t in pain, and he could have just gone home and come back in the morning. He kept his sense of humor even when I was bored or tired or scared. Like when he offered to sing Diana Ross the nurse in exchange for her scrounging up a cot for him to sleep on that second night instead of the chair. Or when he posted WEjr’s sonogram picture on the door to the bathroom in our hospital room since we didn’t have a refrigerator to hang them on. He was right there with Christy (him on the left and her on the right) for every single push – holding my legs and helping me along. He reminded me to drink more water when I was on observation, gave me a head scratch when I was in pain and trying not to think about it, held my hand, fed me ice chips and popsicles during labor, AND kept the twitter account updated to keep our friends and family informed real time. (WEjr’s twitter account was his idea by the way – but then you probably already guessed that.) Once we got home, WE got up with me every time throughout the night, changed WEjr’s diaper and sat there on the couch with me until WEjr finished eating and fell back asleep. I’ve since gotten the hang of it on my own – but for that first little while it sure was nice to just have the moral support.
3. Hospital food was hospital food. Even the steak and lobster dinner for new parents was just okay. But you have to give them props for trying at least. And the chocolate cake was great!
Most memorable moments:
1. “That was a good push” (said by the Dr. nonchalantly and no differently than the last 3 pushes) and then whoosh, there he was up on my belly in full view – wet, slippery, and screaming (thank goodness for healthy lungs!)
I was shocked (had no idea that I had pushed his head out), relieved (I was tired of pushing), ecstatic (here it was the moment we’d all been waiting for!), and so happy that I couldn’t hold back the tears.
2. In post partum one night we had finished eating dinner and decided to watch the rest of Sabrina. We had starting watching the movie before we were induced and were just sitting around bored in the hospital. So there we were, all three of us squeezed into my little hospital bed, snuggled up and watching a classic that I’ve probably seen a thousand times and yet this time it seemed a little different. Towards the end the of the movie I looked over at WE and he was holding WEjr. I was completely overcome with love. I loved that little guy, but even more, I loved WE… perhaps even more than ever. I couldn’t stop crying. WE thought I was getting teary-eyed from the movie. Seriously, who cries during Sabrina?! 
3. Priesthood blessing from WE. When the Dr came to inform us that we were going to be induced and that we’d start not in a few hours, not in the morning, but right now – I went into a slight mode of panic. Was I ready for this? What next? After we switched rooms and the nurse gave us a few minutes alone to try to relax and get my blood pressure back down (EVERYONE was doing everything we could to avoid the magnesium treatment – which apparently is used when blood pressures are too high during delivery but it has wicked side effects that none of us, including the nurses, wanted to deal with), in that stressful moment – WE laid his hands on my head as I was laying there in the hospital bed and gave me a priesthood blessing. The words brought much needed feelings of peace and perspective and I was really grateful that WE was worthy and willing to offer that prayer on my behalf and bless me in that way.
4. WEjr taking advantage of WE’s rookie mistake during his very first diaper change. So the first diaper is really gross. WE was on duty and I’m sitting there in the hospital bed just watching WE’s every move as he struggled to get the diaper off the squirming kid. Ah hah, finally. Then there was what seemed like a whole package of wipes being whipped out and WE pretty much trying to scrape off the black tar from the buttocks. That was when it happened. A perfect stream…straight up. Pretty high too. Dad was just lucky it was aimed away from his face
